haha

You act as if he didnt tell me about a few weeks ago or when you two were hooking up when me n him were broken up in the begining. I know that shit. its whatever to me. really, at this point i couldnt care less.

drunkblog. please ignore

written by trish, pam, vanessa, and amanda

Trish - fuck that..no no dont put that..thats naughty

Pam - doode doode this is the story...

Amanda - bartender pam, make me another sex drinbk shit

the dog smells.

P)amela - i need the computer vanessa!

Top Secret Info enclosed! hahahaha

Hello sexy people of the world!
In about half an hour I will be on my way to Dublin to have the best weekend ever with my Trishy-Poo, Pammy and Vanessa! Well, best Friday night and Saturday morning lol. Then Saturday me and the love of my life are taking Kendra to the discovery museum. I used to love love looove that place when I was a kid and then Sunday is the day I have been waiting for for what has seemed like an eternity! Dane Cook in San Jose!
Dane Cook is one of the things on me and Hectors to “do before were to old to do it” List lol. It was one where we would watch him and say “one day when were rich and famous we will go. Well, Were not rich but we sure are famous! Haha So famous in fact that people are obsessed with trying to get into our lives any way possible. Its annoying but whatever, Life has its pests. Then I just booked our hotel in Paseo Robles (I think I spelled that right) for our mini vacation in July. Its amazing, at the Marriots website the prices for a suite are $250 a night at the one we wantt o stay at but at hotels.com it was only $160 a night, that’s damn near a $100 savings. I sound like a frigign commercial! Haha. But that’s why we do hotels.com, they rock my socks!
SO! My trish called about 20mins ago and said she got the bottle of patron. Then she called just now telling me as she was stepping out of the truck the bottle and box hit the ground, shattering it and all the patron goodness inside hahahahaa. She was freaking out saying how sorry she was haha I love that clumsy girl! I told her not to trip that its more funny than anything. But I guess her being out $80 sucks. But we shall buy another.
I only have half an hour left so I really don’t want to work…what’s the point? Friday, 30mins to go. I think I will go into the training room and act like I’m working on Inspector certifications but just talk to my inspector buddies. Toodaloo – do something stupid!

The reason for the pitcture below, is because

It represents a very special night in me and Hecs

Relationship. You always have to remember the

first hook up even if it is in the back seat of his car

while our "guests" are inside passed out from too much alcohol,

me and hec were talking and joking about it last night and I just thought I would

Share this secret information to my fans :) LOVE YOU!

YAY!

LMAO! So Scott has agreed to go back to my schedule – If I didn’t tell you we were trying it HIS way the last few weeks. Snc I came up with my schedule he has been bitching and bitching that its not fair and his way is the only fair way. His way didn’t make sense. His way was I watch Kendra while he is working and he watches her when I am working. That SOUNDS decent until you think about it. There are times were both me and scott are both off at the same time, who has her then? Then his schedule is sporadic he gets his next weeks schedule on Sunday. So ther was NO planning of anything, even the things that have been planned for a while now like me being out of town this weekend, the sesame street show im taking her too, the Dane Cook concert – among many other thing – all of those were scheduled accordingly when we were following my plan. It was a very confusing schedule there were days where I didn’t see Kendra for 3 days, there were days where I Had her for 4 days in a row and she didn’t get to see her daddy. I knew what would come of this. The inconsistency would mess with Kendra, Children need some sort of stability. Kendra needs to see her mama AND he father every day and sleep in the same place over night. So I knew that trying out Scotts schedule would really mess with her, make her moody and confused and sad and ect. And it did. The ONLY reason I tried it was to show to scott why is DOESN'T work. His problem with my schedule was that he had her too much and it wasn’t fair to him (we have her the SAME exact amount of time by the way on ym sched.) but with his schedule he had her twice as much as me, I pointed this out but he didn’t want to see it – again his control issue that even though his plan sucks he wont acknowledge it because its HIS plan. Yet, through all the flaws I pointed out he still held tight into this. I told him snc we split over a year ago what the courts will want and it will be similar if not identical to my schedule. I went thru my mom and dads yeaarrss long divorce when I was 10, I know what the courts want. So finally after he talked to his lawyer his lawyer told him what I have been telling him the whole time. Even his lawyer said that the schedule that I came up with is perfect and if we go by that schedule it will save us a lot of time and money when we go to court. SO we are back to the normal Schedule. I am soo happy I get to see my girl everyday and we have already seen a big change in her moods. Consistency works wonders for kids lol. alright. Back to work. Talk to you later gater!

*kisses*

To address something, It’s funny you say that my life is more delusional than yours. I have no delusions about my life. I know I’m not perfect but I'm the best person I know how to be and I'm very content with that. I’m not rich or even comfortable with my money situation but I work hard to earn my money and support my daughter and myself and that is something to be proud of and that I am proud of. We make it work. Me and Hec are not perfect, we argue, disagree on things but we love, trust and have faith that one day things wont be so hard for us (that would be after the divorce and jobs start picking up for him to be specific lol) I am aware of all of my flaws and all of my greatness and will admit to either. I don’t have to shout from a roof top my imperfections in order for me to be non-delusional. I rather focus on being a good mother, daughter, girlfriend, friend, sister hell even a good ex wife lol if in your mind that is delusional then I feel sorry for you and the life you are missing out on. Being an independent ADULT is a hard but great thing. Try it one day. You may find pride and true happiness. I'm sure ou will call whomever and bitch that im such a terrible icky person and that im creating drama, but sweetie, in the end, i'm just posting a blog and if you dont like it stop reading them :) *kisses*

Memorial Weekend!

Hello!
Sooo I'm swamped at work. I'm taking over a new position in someone’s absence this week and I’m swamped so I will try to make this quick or something lol.
This Memorial weekend was great! Friday I left work early so I could visit with Kendra before dropping her off at my moms for there bi monthly sleepover and then that night Hec’s brother and his girlfriend Maria came over. The boys talked about UFC and played the UFC game the whole time. Maria and I talked about baby’s, expecting (she’s about 5 months preggo) yada yada. It was fun and relaxing. Saturday I woke up and went to breakfast with my mama and Kendra. Hec was too hung over so I let him sleep in longer. We went to Mimi’s Café, I have been there maybe twice when I was pregnant with Kendra and didn’t like anything. But It was soooo good this time! Kendra didn’t touch her chocolate chip pancakes and instead helped me eat my crab and avocado omelet. Yummy. Then after that we went to kids fest (Hec met us there). Kendra had been sooooo exited because she would get to meet Dora the Explorer! And my god, she was soooo happy! When Dora emerged from the tent Kendra said, and I quote “oh-my-gosh! It’s the really real Dora! Oh-My-GOSH!” and she jumped and waved and tried to cut everyone in line lol. We were only 3rd in line and when Kendra got her turn she was touching Dora’s face and holding her hand and kissing boots the monkey and said hi to backpack. It was so so cute to see that! Lol I thought she might get kind of scared though. You know how kids LOVE Santa Clause but when it comes time to sit on his lap they freak out, or any other fictional character for that matter. But she was in love! We waited in line three more times that day. The smile on Kendra’s face was priceless! The rest of the kid’s fest day was very fun as well. We met up with the family (Hec’s sisters and their kids) it was fun. Then after we went to Janie’s house (Hec’s mom) his cousin Frankie and his wife were there. The girls stayed inside and talked away, the boys were outside manning the bbq. I don’t know how the winds were insane out there!! Kendra stayed in the kids room and read books, she was tired from Kid’s Fest.
Sunday my step mom Kecia came over and took us three and my brother Travis to lunch. That’s always fun. I got some birthday money, that’s always funner – yes I said funner! Lol then Scott wanted Kendra so I dropped her off and me and Hec rented movies and sapped on a lil something and had a romantic night…well it was until we got into an argument after that lil something got a hold of us hahaha we always pride ourselves about how whenever we do happen to get into an argument we are not mean about it. We don’t say things just because it will hurt the other, we don’t name call ect. But Sunday night we were all over each other in the name calling category for the first time lol neither of us remember what started it or what really happened, we just remember waking up the next morning and he nudged me and said…”hey did we get into a fight last night?” and I had to think about it and said “yeah we did”…then we started laughing our asses off because we started to remember what was said and how stupid we were lol. This is why we NEVER drink Jack. We didn’t even have a lot but for some reason it brings out the meany in us. Hahaha but it was hella funny remembering what was said and just that we are able to laugh at ourselves for being dumb asses and fighting for no reason lol. dorks. Anyways we laid in bed and snuggled and what not ;) and then suddenly a six flags commercial came on and we just looked at each other and said lets go! We got ready and were there in about an hour and a half. On the way there we passed this terrible car accident. We prayed that no kids were in that backseat because there was no longer a backseat there! We found out on the news today that the 76year old man driving died and the passenger, his wife was badly injured. That was very sad L but god works in odd ways. So Monday consisted of long lines, roller coasters, shows, fatty foods and fun stuff. Hec and I are so baffled at womens clothing these days. Females dress like shit these days. Its like they feel they have to put every single color they have in their wardrobe together. Or feel they have to meet a minimum of 13 articles of clothing at a time. Its just so odd and none of them dress to suite their body shape. They all squeeze into something that is obviously 5 sizes to small. You can tell this by the way their stomach flab hangs waay over or how it looks like their thighs are suffocating to death. Ladies, for real, if you dress to fit your size and shape you look 10lbs lighter and classier. No one wants to be with a street walker, they are icky and have germs, so why would you want to look like a cheap version of one? And then there are the women who wear 5inch heels to the theme parks. Now don’t get me wrong, well allll know I’m a shoe freak and wear high heels everyday however, when I’m going to a place where I Know I will be on my feet and walking allll day, I don’t wear heels, that’s just silly to me, you KNOW that by the end of the day your feet are KILLLIIINNGG you. And that cant be good for your back or the people you are with because you are going to want to sit down lol. buy some cute flats or flip flops. But that’s just my opinion lol
And as for today, I cant believe it is already 2pm. I’m leaving at 3:30 like always and am so exited I just have less than an hour and a half left today. It has been a mad house! Lol. but I guess the smart thing to do would be to go home and start packing up for the big move..buut ehh, I don’t think I will feel up to it. alright talk to you later sexies… oh and..

5 days left until Dane Cook!!!!!!

Phenomenal Woman. Thats Me.

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them They think I'm telling lies.
I say, It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man,
The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees.
I say, It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist, A
nd the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered What they see in me.
They try so much But they can't touch My inner mystery.
When I try to show them, They say they still can't see.
I say It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing It ought to make you proud.
I say, It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I love all that we have become together and the life we are making together.

*I just found this picture, this was literaly 30 seconds b4 the first I love you was said, look at the date, march 15th 2008 that seems like so long ago!! lol good times*


Helllloooo!! (said like Ms. Doubtfire)
Well I'm back at work today. Lame, I did enjoy staying at home yesterday. There’s something about staying at home when you know everyone else is working that makes it feel that much more relaxing lol. Though it was nice to get back to work and hear that we wont the job in part to my meeting with the clients yesterday and I got many praise that I wont my first job! I'm thrilled about that, GO ME!
I cant believe its ONLY Tuesday! I feel like it should be Friday or something. I wish. Friday me and Hec are going out on a date, yay for dates and Saturday we are taking Kendra to Kidsfest. Dora the Explorer will be there, Kendra will be soooo exited to meet Dora!! Its going to be great to see her face when she meets Dora lol.
I don’t even need to get into it because we all know how Scott is, but last min he wanted Kendra last night and I just was not in the mood at all to fight with him so I said fine, take ken tonight. He did and an hour later was ready to drop her off…again he is just grasping for control, any sort of control. But I told him he cant just make a huge deal yelling and screaming that he wants Kendra...keep in mind he never just asks nicely, he starts off yelling lol and then an hour later say, no never mind I don’t want her. That’s not cool for Kendra myself hector or anyone. So anyways me and hec had a free night. We decided that neither of us wanted to cook so we picked up some take out and ate it in bed. Yummy! We had a lot of fun for some reason just laughing, wrestling, ignoring texts from both our ex’s who seem to always text right when things are getting hot lol, talking and giggling in bed. We watched some of our shows together then at about 10 we hopped in the shower *gotta save water right ;) lol* and then after I climbed into bed, I was sleepy and he stayed up because his UFC game he has been waiting for came out and I special ordered it for him so he was going to pick it up at midnight. I passed out and at 12:10 he jumps into bed saying “I GOT IT!!!!!” haha dork. I told him to let me know if it was fun or not because I was going back to bed and then the next thing I know he is crawling back into bed at 3:30am lol lol I looked at him and laughed because he had to get up at 530am to go to work, even he said “I’m goin to regret this” and he did haha. at least he had a short job and is home sleeping. Silly boy! I heart him. It was nice just being with each other and only each other. I love when he just come out with the random romantic stuff. Like at were laying there watching Charm School he said “I'm so glad were together, your amazing” so I added “yeah I am” and then that led to him kicking me off the bed lol. It was just so nice and fun…I know I keep saying that! But we are always so busy we forget how fun these little times can be. Good stuff. Anywhoo off to get more work done. Thrilling!

Weekend report

Good Morning…well afternoon now.
I am so exited – just had a business meeting with some clients and it went great! I am really proud of how well I did on my first client meeting! Go me! We were all going to meet at JFK and discuss a job and all that jazz so I just had Hec drop me off at my moms on his way to work so I can get ready here and then walk over to JFK, its like 10 steps away. But I was soo nervous, but at 7:30 came around I stuffed my pumps into my purse, threw on the flip flops and walked over to the meeting place. I probably looked funny while walking in professional clothes and then silver sparkly flip flops. I think I changed back into the heels before anyone saw. But it went great and fast and now I get to take the rest of the day off. I wish I could be with hec today. Today is the one year anniversary of his cousins, Jason Gamino, Murder. I remember this day very vividly a year ago and how it affected hec when he got the news. He had a job out in south san fran so he was near the cemetery and is meeting up with the family now.
This weekend was fun. Friday…hmm what the heck did we do Friday?! Lol I don’t know! Total mind blank. Work and then…who knows, we will pretend that we flew to Paris to have dinner. Yeah that sounds good. Lol. Then Saturday Scott calls at 9am and texts over and over that he is dropping Kendra off at 10. Bottom line. This is his weekend for Kendra, we had her 3 weekends in a row and granted I love having my girl but we had made plans already because we THOUGHT he was going to take her for the weekend. So then I call him back and hes yelling about how “no the plan is I watch her when you work and you watch her when I work. Its that fuckin simple…” and that would be fine and we could somehow work that out however he pulls this at the last second and I still watch her when hes not working and watch her when he is working so suddenly pulling this shit doesn’t make sense. Really all this was just about him trying to be in control. Trying to somehow still make me upset and make me angry. So I had to get up, make a million calls to everyone and finally got it worked out with my brother watching Kendra until 5 and then my dad watching her until 10 when scott picked her up. Its just annoying that even on his weekends with her I am responsible for finding a babysitter. That wouldn’t be bad at all but the way he asks..no demands and yells and demines and forces me into having to do it. I know he is hurting because he and Amy are not working out. She told him she just wants to be friends. I finally asked him if maybe he is starting to see that the way he treats people has a direct effect on why the last few girlfriends and myself cant handle being with him. I was telling him to not blame himself but rather take all this as a learning experience to better himself. Scott just dosent want to see it. He really truly doesn’t see how he treats people. How he demands they jump when he says jump but yet he wont do anything for them but criticize and hurt them and try to belittle them. Its sad because he is a great guy but he is just so covered by anger. Its frustrating because I keep trying to help and get him to see but he refuses. I feel bad for him but there is just nothing I can do anymore. It sucks.
But then the rest of the day we lounged and watched movies and played games then we went out for a super fun night out. A club for drinks and then to his brothers house for a party. It was a lot of fun. Then home for our own fun, after all it was our first free weekend in a while. :D :D no wait that’s what we did on Friday!! Lol lol lol Friday we did all of that. Saturday we went to Hecs parents house for a bbq. We were thinking that would be the day that hecs brother would tell his parents that he and his girl Maria are having a baby in 3 or 4 months but nope he chickened out lol. Me and Maria were talking for hella days about how she is leaving it up to them. But shes got a cute belly going now and its to hard to hide, I’m surprised no one noticed. But hopefully he tells them soon, you cant hide a bally for too long. Sunday we were at my mamas for a bbq. My brother was watching Kendra while Scott was at work but he had to leave at 3 so on our way over to my moms I picked her up because I get her at 530 on Sundays on scotts weekends with her so I didn’t mind at all a few hours earlier but then he calls saying he is going to call the cops because I kidnapped her blah blah. Wtf!? So he makes this big deal about how he had something planned and needs to pick her up now or hes going to be late. So I say OKAY, shes here when your ready to pick her up. So two hours later he shows up to pick her up. Even though he made a huge huge deal about how he has to be somewhere right then and there (2 hours ago) then he calls an hour later and is ready to drop her off. Again, the control issue. Its annoying as hell! If he wasn’t such an asshole about it, yenno just say please and thank you here and there it wouldn’t be so frustrating! Grrr. Lol
Oh well alright I’m off to enjoy my lifetime movie and the rest of my Monday off. Tata sex kittens!

Thank God for Iced Mochas

I am so ready to go home! This day has been busy! Not to mention I am a wee bit hung over. It was a friends birthday and usually I don’t go out on the weekdays because I have Kendra and because I have to wake up at 5am the next morning but in the spirit of her birthday we went out. I told myself that I wasn’t going to drink a lot just a few drinks to be social and so that the annoying guys who want to buy everyone a drink will leave me alone. But then there was the 1st birthday shot, then the second then the third and after the third birthday shot I forgot 9or didn’t care) that I wasn’t going to get smashed. But I wake up 5am with a massive hang over. Thank God for Iced Mochas! They are my savior. I am drinking my 3rd one today the least healthy but whatever.
Then my mother asks if I can assist her on a project, being my mama and that I am all caught up on the proposals and contracts I said SURE I will help. Wow I shouldn’t have done that. Now I’m staring at a stack of 478papers with 10-20 projects on each page and I have to go through line by line and change the rate tables and ect ect. At least it doesn't have to be done until the end of June but damn. It is a long tedious project. But hopefully I can pull some overtime from it. J J
Hmm as for tonight, this is my first free weekend in 3 weeks! I do believe we are going to a friend’s house for a bbq/party. And I will will will remember to get Travis those papers so he can serve Scott tonight! Scotts been really great lately, very friendly and just plain nice to me. I love when he has a girlfriend. I'm afraid he might lose her though. She is a very nice girl but for some reason he feels he has to be an ass and show her what a dick he can be to other people and that clearly doesn't please her. I keep telling him that we are at the age now where he’s not dealing with girls anymore, he is dealing with women. Women don’t like to see that the guy they are with is a jerk, they don’t like to see. hear how mean he is to his babys mama (ME!) because they think he might be like that to him. You have to think that already coming into a relationship with a man who is in the middle of a divorce from the woman he was with for 5 years and has a baby with, you know she’s thinking “what happened? Who left who and why”? so as I keep telling him, that by being a jerk off he is telling her that I left him BECAUSE he was a jerk. I have told him that right now in the dating stage he needs to go above and beyond to show what a great guy he can be. Because if he doesn't she may think, well if he cant even be a gentlemen now, then he never will be. We all know that the first few months are all candy coated and sweet and in a few months after the getting to know you and liking you for who you are stage. But I hope he can keep her. She seems so sweet and she’s so cute and so good with Kendra. I think that because of her sweetness she can do Scott a world of good. Hopefully he learned his lessons with me and will treat her better than he did me. I just hope it works out. alright back to my million papers! Woooo!

My baby!

Hello!
I just got a call from Kens preschool reminding me that its almost time to register her for..KINDERGARTEN!.. Of course I tear’d up when she said that I can’t believe my baby will be in kindergarten soon. Me and Scott do have a big decision on our hands though, She can go to kindergarten a bit earlier because she will be at the right level however she will most likely be the youngest in the class or we can wait. So far Scott and I are leaning towards waiting. If it shows to be too easy then she can just go to the advanced Kindergarten class. Did they have all these when we were kids? I may have been just 5 but it seems like there was just one kindergarten class, no advanced kindergarten no normal kindergarten… just one they throw you into and say good luck! God I can’t believe how fast it goes. When your pregnant everyone tells you, “it goes so fast enjoy it” and you say yeah, blah blah because really you don’t even know what’s what when you are pregnant with the first baby. But now that I’m in the middle of planning her 3rd birthday I really cant fathom that I have been blessed already with 3 years of Kendra. It seems like a second. Of course there are those times where it seems like an eternity lol but then she smiles or says randomly “I love you mama” and then it goes back to a second. I was looking at her the other day as she is practicing writing her letters (she is working really hard to get “A” correct and has quite a few down pretty well) and she’s talking to me, explaining to me how she is going to try to write the “A” this time and I again, tear’d up. She is now this wonderful big girl who can explain an order of how things will go, who can say her alphabet, write letters and count to 20 and she can re tell stories and she now sings along with songs on the radio and tell me what she wants and use the potty and…the list goes on and its amazing because not long ago I was teaching her to walk and to say “mama” and “dada”, “baba”, “dog” and now she’s giving me a logical explanation on how she is going to try to tackle the “A” this time and tell and even show me how she did it last time followed by a “that dint work las’ time” She’s amazing. I am enjoying and relishing every single dingle second with my baby. I know she wont be my only baby for long but I think She will always be my favorite - I only say this because I don’t have another kid yet and I’m sure they will all be my favorites but I think Kendra and I will be the closest, like my mother and I. We have always shared a very close bond and I see a lot of me and Kendra in me and my mother if that makes any sense what so ever lol :P But I Love my girl and my advice to moms out there, we all have days where we just want to go home and veg on the couch and when our kids ask us to go play or go do this, don’t tell them later, just go do it. not only does it really help you forget the stressful day you had but it is the best gift you can give your babies and yourself. You are never going to get this time back. When they are teenagers or getting married or having babies of their own you are going to wish you spent just that extra few hours with them when they were this age. Being a mother is very hard. It’s a new challenge everyday, your patience, will power, strength, sleep, gag reflexes…they are all challenge but that is nothing compared to those times when they look at you and smile or say they love you or hug you tight. All that is bad in the world becomes so small and you and that little being you made are the only ones that matter.
Okay enough of the mushy stuff, it makes me miss my baby! Last night Hec got back from the Giants game at about 6, we got a snack packed and the we were off to his baseball game. It was a really good game actually, usually I’m just there to support Hec and talk with the other moms and newly expecting moms but the game was tied all the way to the end then we made 1..2…3…4…5…6 home runs it was great. Even Kendra was cheering and jumping up and down. It was lots of fun. I missed the Lost Finale!!!! Hec wanted to go with some buddies and celebrate but I wanted to get Kendra home and I don’t like her in those kinds of environments so me and her went home, I laid her in bed, made dinner then she wanted me to lay with her so I did…and fell asleep in 2.3 seconds. Hec came home and woke me up but it was already 30mins into Lost so we just figure we will catch it when Comcast puts in on demand. BOOOO I’m sad I missed it!
Good News, my Papa is headed home today! They put a few splints in his heart and told him he’s got to quit smoking again..we will see how that goes! Lol but I think we will go visit this weekend. And I have yet to serve Scott the divorce papers! I KNOW! My moms on me about it too lol. I will try to get travis to come over and do it but he is scared lol he thinks Scott’s going to go off on him. But Scott Knows it coming and is okay with that. Alright its 20mins past my lunch time lol…whoops!

"God you are Beautiful"

Happy Wednesday sexies!
The season Finale of Lost is on tonight! Woo hooo! Hec better be home in time for that because I will start watching without him!
Any hooo, my papa is doing better; he had a mix of really bad case of pneumonia and had a heart attack. They did the whole surgery thing, inserted some splints and then told him he has some small valve blockage and NEEDS to quite smoking. I hope he does but he has been smoking since he was 12 so I don’t see him stopping anytime soon. Like most old men, they think the doctors don’t know what they are talking about. Lol. I am so grateful that he pulled through and that he will be sent home soon. I really really need to start visiting more now because now I know there will only be so much time left with him. L
Hector and I are throwing around the idea of moving, we love our place to death but we think we need a more suitable place. The idea is still in the works. I'm thinking a place where my mom lives, those places are great and I will be very close to my mama and that works for me! He is wonderful, I noticed he was staring at me last night as we were watching American Idol, and he just came out with a “god, you are beautiful” now if that doesn't melt the heart of a girl I don’t know what will lol. just the little things like that make everything in the world seem right.
Yesterday the alarm went off at 5am, and because of how amazingly comfortable the bed felt, how wonderful it felt to be wrapped in his arms, I decided to take a mental health day, a.k.a a sleep in super late day lol. I had to get up at 7 though to get Kendra ready for school, Scott picked her up and then I hoped right back into my mans arms and we talked and joked for a bit and then he made us breakfast in bed and we fell back asleep until 1! I cant remember the last time I did that! Even on the weekends we always have something planned, family events, taking Kendra somewhere, going to the beach so0o0omthing and so I’m always up by 8am at the latest on the weekends. So it was nice, then we ran a million errands, looked at a few places we might want to move into, picked up ken and then we went for a walk on our trail behind our home. Ken rode her bike in front of us and me and Hec held hands and talked about so many things, our future mainly. It was so nice. Then Kendra wanted to run with “ticky” (that’s what she calls Hec) and so they ran off and I was stuck carrying a Dora tricycle and a Dora helmet lol, but I love watching them together. It’s perfect.
As for the divorce papers, I have yet to serve them on Scott, I think it’s a mix of being nervous and not having the opportunity. He knows I have them and he knows my brother will serve them to him and Scotts fine with that. But oy, its just that whole “taking the next step” thing. Don’t get me wrong I want so badly for this to be over but I know that this next step, the court step is going to be ugly.
Hopefully I will gather up the nerve to do it today or 2maro.

Mothers day Weekend

Good Morning and Happy belated Mothers Day to all the mommies.
This weekend was very action packed! Friday I worked a 12 hour day, so Hec took that opportunity to call up Scott, Pick Kendra up early, go to the store and he let Kendra pick out Flowers and a card for me. She did a great job, She got yellow daisies with sparkles on them along with purple orchids (my fav) and then picked out one of those musical cards for me. Hector said she was so serious about it and wanted to get me just the right one so she opened every single musical card until she found the perfect one. Lol sweet girl. And Hec got me a wonderful card and a few other things. They gave me my mothers day gift on Friday because that was really going to be our only time. But it was so special, and the best gift of all, the house was clean – the best gift of all is having to work from 5:30am to 5:30pm and being able to come home to gifts and a clean house! Lol.
That night me and Hec really sat down and talked about everything that’s been going on, we talked about EVERYTHING! Which was really nice because for some reason these past few weeks we have been so caught up in our own little stress worlds that we forgot that we have each other to help us and need to help the other. We really had the best talk and it was so nice and I feel like we are stronger than ever because we understand each other more. Sometimes it take a rocky moment in time to really show how much you love someone and how strong your love really is.
Then Saturday me and Kendra headed to my moms and Hec went to his brothers grappling match in Milpitas. My mom was having mothers day at her house on Saturday and we vegged out, watched movies and just enjoyed a Saturday. My moms girlfriends sister brought over her granddaughter Alexis who is only a few weeks younger than Kendra. The girls got along so so great and just had a blast with each other. I feel bad for Alexis though, her mom is kind of a dead beat mom. She only had Alexis to try to keep her boyfriend at the time and when that didn’t work she wanted an abortion but it was way too late in her pregnancy and snc then she really wants nothing to do with her daughter. She leaves Alexis with who ever will watch her. Her friends are more of a parent to Alexis than she is. All Christina (the mom) wants to do is go out and party and pays more attention to her phone than her kid. So then its up to Alexis’s grandparents to care for her but really, there is nothing like the love from mama. They are always talking about what a bad kid Alexis is and how she never listens and just what a terror she is, but I think she is a great kid. I think they give her too much negative attention. My mom was shocked one day when she went shopping with Christina, Alexis and Christina’s mom, because while they are in a busy store in the mall Alexis Runs off towards the elevator and both Christina and Christina’s mother just watched her run off and then continued to shop and my mom asks “uhm did you want ME to go get her” and they simply said, no, she will eventually come back. what the hell? it would be so easy for someone to swoop up Alexis and disappear. Its just sad, they don’t let her play on the floor because she might get the carpet dirty, she cant play with crayons because she might mark up the table, she has never painted or seen play dough as I learned Saturday when I was playing with them and Alexis’ grandma told me she doesn't know what they are. Its amazing and sad that this kid is not only motherless, giving only negative or no attention but she cant even be a kid and play on the floor, get a little messy with paint, that’s the fun of a kid and they learn from doing things like that. Me and Hec decided we will have Alexis over once or twice a week from now on and hopefully make a positive impact on her and omg the worst! She drinks soda! What 2 year old drinks soda?! What parent/ grandparent will just hand their kid a soda with a straw in and let her drink away. No wonder she acts out at times the amount of caffeine and sugar in that will of course cause an inevitable meltdown! Not to mention how terrible it is for her bones and teeth and growth all together! And they will cater to her, she has never eaten vegetables because “she doesn't like it” she wont eat meat or much of anything else all they give her breakfast lunch and dinner is yogurt, candy candy candy, and oatmeal. I do not care if Kendra dose not like something, I will make it and put it on her plate and at least give her the option of eating it. Luckily Kendra has always loved veggies but again that’s because there is a veggi on her plate each night. Do they know what they are doing to that girls growth? Anyways I rambled on long enough, I just wish people would take better care of their children and if they cant then they should have used a condom. Because it is our job as mothers and father to make sure our children grow up happy and healthy.
Then Sunday we got an early morning call from my dad that my papa is in the ICU because he wasn’t able to breath that morning. Turns out there was a lot of fluid in his lungs. They stabilized him and he is only on 50% oxygen rather then the 100% he needed at the time of admittance. I'm VERY VERY close to my nana and papa, they raised me basically. I don’t know what I would do if my papa doesn't pull through this. I know he’s old and his health is just falling. I know he wont be here much longer but he just cant go yet. I want him at my wedding, I want him and Kendra to have more time together. I know it is coming, soon, and as selfish as this is going to sound, I'm just not ready for him to leave yet. My nana is not ready for him to leave yet. No one is ready for that.*sigh* I hope he gets through this and I can have my sarcastic, generous loves with all his heart, republican, papa for a while longer.
But after the hospital we went to my Aunt Lonis and had mothers day. it was very nice. a little somber but nice.
Okay I must get back to working now. Toodles!

This was supppposed to go up yesterday afternoon

Good afternoon sexies!
SO the papers for the divorce and joint yet full physical custody to me are now ready to be served to Scott. I must admit that I am absolutely terrified about how he will react. I have told him in a nice calm manor about why I’m doing this and to be honest, I think he understands. I think he wants help just as much as we want him to get help because every time the subject of me getting full physical custody of Kendra comes up he doesn't go crazy like he so easily does with other subjects. In fact Scott has even joked about it a few times. So I think deep down he knows this is what is right and he also knows that I am not a mean person and will be completely fair and equal about who gets Kendra and when. Like I said a million times before, my plan is that the schedule stays exactly the same as it is now so that it is still stable for Kendra. She knows and likes this schedule and both Scott and myself get to see her everyday (minus the 4 days a month for the weekend she stays at the other parents) God I hope this works for the best for all of us involved. I think it will. So tomorrow I go pick up the papers and have my wonderful brother serve Scott the papers and pray that he doesn't explode and take it out on me or worse, Kendra.
Hec and I are doing great. Now that we think about it, we just had a bad 3ish weeks. Just stress over everything caused us both to distance ourselves and then get irritated at each other. It was pretty much our first real fight, and even then, it wasn’t like a screaming match we were able to talk it out and have hot make up sex. What’s better than that?! Haha And tonight we are going down to Todos Santos park for the farmers market and there will be NASCAR drivers with their cars so me and him are soo exited. Kendra loves watching NASCAR too…she thinks all the drivers names are JR. lol. I told Hec that if Jr happens to be one of the drivers down there (I doubt it, hes to sexy for public lol) then I might have to leave him for Jr lol.
Mothers Day is coming! It will be my 3rd mothers day! I'm exited. I mean who doesn't love a day that’s all about them...its like my birthday haha. I'm looking forward to it because I'm off! Lol No running around cooking and cleaning and finding this, helping with this, doing that, fixing the thing…it will be nice. I declare I want a nap! Lol. It is Scotts weekend for Kendra but I asked if I can have her this weekend. I cant have mothers day without the person who made me a mommy! Saturday were going to my moms to have a super relaxing day of movies, bbq, games and whatever. I always love my moms holidays better, its just relaxing and not hectic. Then Sunday we don’t know what we are doing yet. I keep asking Hec to call his mother and find out the plans but of corse last min Hec will wait till last min.
OMG I forgot I have to cover the phones…now!! Peace!

The dreded receptionist

So I have been MIA from blog world for a few days. Its been hectic so here’s a quick recap. Sunday Hectors one year old niece had a seizure at the mall. That was really intense and scary. I finally had it with Hec’s odd state of being lately. I know it’s because jobs are not coming in and he’s feeling depressed that he is not brining in a lot of money or whatever so he has been acting so distant and just odd…there more into it but I don’t feel like getting into it really. But I finally told him that he should stay at his mother house for a few days to clear his head and figure out his priorities, we talked the whole time via text while I was at work and on the phone when I got home and we sorted everything out. It was just what I figured it was, he just needed a metaphorical slap in the face to jump back into reality. Him staying at his moms was no way me telling him I’m breaking up but it was a way for him to open his eyes and realize that he cant act like that because I wont stand for it. But he is home now…really he only spent two nights there. Things are much better. He realizes the jerk and absentee boyfriend/stepparent he has been the past few weeks and he apologized profusely and surprised me and took me out to lunch yesterday. He also thanked me, which I didn’t expect, for getting him back to the real world and not just taking his bull shit and letting it continue. I think every one needs a slap in the face every so often to get back to reality. Plus he’s said before he thinks its hot how I stand up for myself and don’t take shit form anyone, not even him. Though I’m sure he finds it much hotter when I’m being a bitch to others and not him but oh well lol.
So at my work, all the departments rotate weeks to cover the front desk phones while the receptionist takes her breaks. She takes two 20mins breaks and one hour lunch plus we have to cover the phones from 7-8 (she starts at 8). That’s hard for all the departments because that’s just about 3 hours out of our own work to cover the phones. But we all share the responsibility. It used to be just me until my second promotion and I contested that I can no longer cover the phones everyday for Mona (the receptionist) if I am not taking on a larger more important roll in this company. They understood and initiated the department rotation. Well this week is my week and let me tell you I DRED DRED DRED this week on the phones. It really backs me up in the work load department but that’s not such a big deal, work some over time, catch up, make more money. But I hate this week so much because I have to deal with Mona (dun dun duuuun) she is an elderly lady. But she is a cruel mean hearted woman. Unless you are one of the big wigs here then she is the nicest sweetest thing to you. She is so very manipulative, and tries anytime she can to make fun of people to their face, in front of people, put you down, make her self look better basically. When I first came to this company I was training to be the sole back up receptionist and Reports asst. and coming into is people warned me about her saying that the three other people who trained for this job (Mona is the one doing the training) would quit because the could NOT work with her. And I quickly found out why. Shes mean. She is just a mean mean lady. I think I got my point across. Well she always had a problem with me we all think its because she makes her job sound so hard and was boasting to people about the 3 girls who quit because her job is soooo hard. The bitch answers phones, its an easy job, but we think the reason she has it out for me was because I was able to do it, im much nicer and people, clients, inspectors like me much better than her and because I have moved up in the company so fast. But I try to remain nice to her, I’m professional, I chose to act professional in the work place. She does not. Yesterday she just rubbed me the wrong way too many times. It started with her comment about the way I answer the phone. One of our Inspectors called who me and him are friends and so Instead of the usual “CEL your partners in quality this is Amanda” greeting I said a simple “Good Morning Tom, Do you need and ecode?” (I know what job he is on and knew he got off at this time and needed and ecode) and mona went off. This is coming from the woman who has gotten 76..yes count them 76 complaints from clients about her rudeness this past fiscal year. ( I know this because I’m in HR – go me!) so I just hold my tongue and let her ramble then she start about the shoes I’m wearing, that she wouldn’t wear them because they are far to stripperish. I was wearing plain black pumps. Look em up, there at Macys, they are Guess pumps, “carrie” style. There is Nothing special nothing Whorey about them so then I just looked at her and said “it’s a good thing your not wearing them huh” and got back to my work. She is still standing there hovering over me and then goes off about how I don’t answer my emails fast enough and that’s not professional, so again I looked at her in astonishment and said to her “mona, I have a lot of work to do and so far, im doing a damn good job at my job and it would be best if you worried about yourself rather than other people all the time” and theeeen she said that maybe I should think about wearing more appropriate tops to work and be professional and that this is not high school that made my mouth drop because I was wearing a white, collared button up shirt with a black top underneath…hardly showing cleavage in any way. Unless you are standing over me like she was. But let me tell you about her. She is constantly wearing dresses and skirts above her knees… and wearing shirts that flash her black lace bra to everyone and slits that show her panties when she walks…she even jokes about how shes too old to wear the stuff she does. So I finally said “Mona, you need to worrie about yourself and back off of me now.” So she leaves for her break, then when she comes back she says “im back, you are dismissed” and then as I’m walking away she mumbles something under her breath so I turn around and catch her flipping me off! Who does that? I’m like 80 years younger than her. What the hell? she seriously gets on my nerves sooo bad. I try so hard to not let her get to me but my god she drives me nuts!!!! She drives everyone nuts! She wasn’t even invited to her daughters wedding or invited to holidays because she starts fights and everyone ends up crying or leaving says her daughter. Ugh any way now that I got that off my chest!!
Haha. I think I'm going to go to my dads tonight. I feel to terrible this past year I have hardly seen him and I know he wants to see Kendra so bad, esp Since Paige (my little sister) is now one and a half he wants us over more. So I do believe after I leave work I will pick up the girl and go to my daddys. I miss him terribly. I really need to make it a habit to see him more!
Okiedokes! Love you bitches…I’m sure I will talk to you soon!

Yay for this weekend!

Thank God it’s Friday! I cannot wait for this weekend! Kens staying the night at my mamas for her twice a month sleep over and even though the rain dampened Sunday Park day, I don’t think I would take Kendra anyways if it was sunny – H1N1 doesn't sound fun lol, yes I’m a paranoid germ-a-phobic mother. But at least my baby’s not getting sick knock on work. but tonight will rock ass, i cant wait!!! and saturday will be just as great, just less alcohol and dancing, and crazyness and more family, kid friendly activities like movies and dora candy land and playdough lol Alright see you beautiful people Monday! Pizzzout~!

I love him, he is amazing...

when the weight of the world breaks down so strong it leaves footprints on the street and theres too many miles to face without a few more hours sleep. the storm clouds overhead wont shed any rain to quench your thirst, i wanna be the one you reach for first. when your faith is stretched so thin you can see right through your souland you cant find a nickel to buy a smile cuz all ur pockets all got holes. you wanna shut the door and hide before the day can get much worse, i wanna be the one you reach for first. fall into me, my arms are opened wide and you dont have to say a word. cuz i already see that its hard and your scared and your tired and it hurts and i wanna be the one you reach for first. i wanna be the bottle youve been drinkin with your eyes or the road you run away on youve been runnin all your life. the third row pew that you last knew as a child in church. i wanna be the one your reach for first. before your turn the key, before you fall asleep, before your drift away to find some demons waiting for you in your dreams. before your arms stretched wide open, before your'e reaching for the sky. before your searching for direction and all the answers to your why's fall into me. my arms are opened wide and you dont have to say a word cuz i already see that its hard and your scared and your tired and it hurts and i wanna be the one you reach for first