Macys here we come!

Hello!
I used to write every day and lately I have just been doing the every few day thing. Oh well I will try to do an every day thing but we will just have to see how well that turns out.
Newhoo.. this weekend was Kendra’s 3rd birthday! As I wrote the night of her birthday
“ I cant believe that just three years ago today I was holding and looking
down at me brand new baby girl thinking about how blessed I was and as
I lay her to bed 3 years later I know now that I was more blessed than I could
have imagined”
I know I have talked so much about it before about how much I love her and how amazing she is and how blessed I am to have her so we wont get into all that mooshy gooshy stuff. But I will say that No mother could ever be as proud of their daughter as I am, and I still have a life time to watch her and be even more proud of my baby…and yes she will always be my baby. Lol
Friday Scott picked her up in the morning and Hec and I took that time to go run around to 3 or 4 different stores to get the perfect decorations and about a million balloons. I don’t think I will ever do that again, it was hell trying to drive with a gagillion balloons in the car!!! Lol. but by the time Kendra got home everyone was over and she just loved all the decorations and of course, the balloons. What kid doesn’t love balloons? We did gifts, dinner, games, cake and like always sing happy birthday. She HATED that! She crawled under the table and cried, I picked her up and she continued to cry with her head buried in my shoulder. Later that night as I was tucking her in and we were talking about her birthday she said “mama I just didn’t like when everyone sang happy day to me. It made me feel sad” I explained that the feeling she was feeling was embarrassed and that its okay because everyone feels that way at times. I also just told her that theres no reason to be embarrassed by us singing to her, it just means we love her and care about her. Then we were talking about her favorite gift that she got and she said the bubbles. Lol I got her a $70 game thing and clothes and shoes and my mom got her hella shit, Hec made her a build a bear with like 3 different outfits and a bed and all that and her favorite was the 99cent bubbles lol. at least she’s not materialistic… yet lol
Then Saturday I met with my lawyer all day. We were going over how mediation is going to go down on Thursday. Went over all the police records, text records hospital records, even some friends testimonies as to his drinking and driving with Kendra, his out of control substance abuse..ect ect. I hate that I had to pull out all the stops in this. I really do, I didn’t want to bring out records that he beat me, I didn’t want to bring out the records of the many times I had to call the police on him but for him to claim that Kendra is not safe with me, that he wants full custody and no visitation…I cant have that. I cant let Kendra be unsafe with him anymore. He just needs help getting back on track.
Then Sunday My mama, Kendra and I drove down to half moon bay. We had such a great time. Kendra LOVES the water so much! She loves swimming like no other. I figured she would stray away from the ocean waves like most kids do because its freezing and the waves are often intimidating to the younger crowd but she LOVED it! She wanted to just run into the waves! So me and Ken held hands and would run knee/shin deep into waves as they came. She just had too much fun. The drive home was terrible! Dead Stopped traffic all the way down 92. We turned around and hit 84 and althought that usually takes double the time of 92, it was half the time Sunday. All in all it was a GREAT weekend!
As for Hector and I. We are still doing great. Its harder to see each other with how far away we live from each other now but honestly, I'm kinda loving the independence of it all. I love Hec more than anything but I have been living with a significant other for over 7 years now. It is so nice to have my room the way I want it, not have to check in or out…its just so nice to make dinner for just me and ken (she and I like the same things) And its so nice to just go get my nails done when I want, go out with my girls when I want. Not saying that he didn’t let me but when you live with someone you would rather spend that time, after work and on weekend doing things together and now that sometimes I don’t have that option I can think about me. Granted sometimes I do have the option of spending time with him and opt out, but that’s the beauty of it all. Lol. I love love love our weekends together and I miss the heck out of him, but I think during this time. I am finely almost not married anymore, I have a nice hunk of change coming in every two weeks, I look great, feel even greater its just awesome to have ME time. But shh don’t tell him that lol. He is having a harder time with it, but really, if he would have just gotten on unemployment when I told him we were laying off inspectors in a few months or started looking for a job then we wouldn’t be in this predicament. So really, I don’t feel that bad for him. Its time he grow up a little bit too. I wont support him until he can support himself. I love him, and I will keep saying that but the boys gotta learn to not save everything for last min and think shits going to be okay because he will just ask people for money. Being a grown up and having responsibilities is not easy but the rewards are great.
Any whoo! Kendra and I are going shopping tonight for summer clothes and dresses ect. I miss Macys very much, its been too long snc I have been there! Lol so Macys, be prepared for Amanda and Kendra to come and drop a nice hunk of change on clothes we don’t really need (don’t worrie our old clothes go to the tri-valley battered women’s shelter) I love not having to pay my old $1400 rent!!!! I know, im boasting but god damn I have been dead ass broke for far to long! I work way to hard for this money and I finaly get to spend it on fun stuff and not bills, I live having and extra $G a month to spend on whatever!